A Much Needed Break from Instagram

So, I took the month off from Instagram... I doubt anyone even noticed. 

Surely, this doesn’t warrant an award or a pat on the back. But especially with everything going on in the world right now I just couldn’t bring myself to keep up with it. Instagram, and social media in general, felt overwhelming.

I haven’t taken an extended break from Instagram in maybe ~6 years... I have poured my heart, soul, effort, and time into this app and into bringing content that I am proud of and into building an audience. But lately I’ve felt so disconnected, even more so than usual. Because the truth is, I often feel like so much of what I post seems empty and so much of what I see here is fake, too. And I’m exhausted from it. 

The reality is, I struggle with depression and have been for most of my life. I’m deeply insecure and doubt my every move. I’m lost and confused and I have no idea what the hell I’m doing most of the time. More often than not I feel completely ostracized by the people I see on Instagram, with their unattainable lifestyles and beauty. I don’t want to contribute to that and make others feel that way. Especially during this COVID-19 crisis, with people dying and falling ill around the world, it felt so insensitive to be posting my pretty travel photos. So I needed to take a step back and reconsider what I want to post. What do I want to say into the internet void that is even somewhat meaningful? I want to create beautiful content, but I also want to educate my audience about things I care about like sustainability and travel.

And yes, I aspire to that beauty we see on social media; as an artist, I emulate it because I value aesthetic very highly. But so often it’s beauty for the sake of beauty with no deeper meaning. It’s posting not because I have something to say but because I feel pressured to post, constantly, to constantly churn out fresh new interesting beautiful content. It’s a lot and it’s exhausting.

I’ve been disillusioned with Instagram for years. I can play back countless conversations I’ve had with fellow marketers and influencers about the frustrations we’ve had with the rat race of it all. I’ve made adjustments along the way and I’ve done what I can to shift my focus towards things that feel more authentic to me, especially travel.

Don’t get me wrong, I’ve met some wonderful friends through this app and I truly appreciate how it’s pushed me to develop my creativity over the years. There are some creators whose content I truly appreciate and which truly inspires me. But I’m burned out and have been for awhile by the overwhelming majority of what I see and by trying to keep up with it. And I don’t want to contribute to that meaningless noise.

So I needed a break. I’ve taken the time to actively follow creators whose content is meaningful to me and to unfollow those whose is not. I’ve sought out accounts that talk about sustainability, fashion, and travel, and actually bring interesting information and discussions to the table. I will be trying to be one of these accounts as well. I’ve taken a moment to reevaluate why I began blogging in the first place. Now I’m back and here to keep trying to improve as best as I can. And if you’re still with me, thank you, I love you, and I truly appreciate your support.